‘ i have no home anymore. ’ ( i intend for us to drown in the angsty ask memes ?? )
GROWLING SUGGESTION MEME // OPEN
It was a sentence that no parent would want to hear their child speak. If Robert’s daughter felt as if she had no home, no safe space for her to return to, no familiarity or warmth to greet her after a stormy day at sea, what did that say about him? About his role as a father? What did that sense of loss tell about Val’s childhood? He parted his lips while glancing down at his glass of whiskey, hoping to find some reassurance spilling out of his mouth. One little white lie that could bring some COMFORT to the only person left on earth who shared his blood. But instead, he was met with his own silence. He pressed his glass against his lips and drank. Only thing he knew how to do nowadays was just that ; get drunk. Only thing he could TRUST himself to be capable to do and do WELL.
Robert furrowed his brow, disappointed at his own inability to be a GOOD PARENT. He couldn’t even LIE to Val … FOR Val. PATHETIC. ❝ I’m sorry. ❞ He mumbled. ❝ I wish things were different. ❞ At least there was some relief in knowing that if he was unable to lie to Val for her own good, then all which left his lips could only be TRUTHFUL. ❝ I messed up. ❞ The truth, however, ripped open the stitches that kept old wounds from tearing Robert into pieces. ❝ Messed up big time. ❞ But wasn’t this love to some extent? ❝ Doesn’t mean you have to make the same mistakes I did. ❞ Ripping himself open in front of Val, willingly exposing all of his guts and gore ? ❝ I don’t want you to stay here for too long, Val. ❞ Hoping she would, somehow, NOT look away? ❝ You stick around for too long and you’ll remember why, sometimes, it’s better not having a home. ❞
❝ are we … discussing this, or are you telling ? ❞
AMERICAN GODS EP. 4 MEME // OPEN
His eyes don’t leave his daughter’s as Robert flicks some ash onto a nearby ashtray. He would have liked to appear ENTHUSIASTIC or at the very least HAPPY like all the other fathers managed to look whenever their children walked into the room. With kids, the world was suddenly made of sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and fading addictions. But Robert’s greatest tragedy was how AWARE he was of the world surrounding him. He was aware of the sad history filling up the space between Val and him. Was aware that she had every right to dislike him and to hold a grudge. But most of all, Robert was painfully aware of how much his daughter LOOKED like him. He saw too much of himself in Val despite of all these years they had spent apart. Dark heavily-lidded eyes that seemed profoundly unimpressed by everything life had to offer … An expression of a young adult who was already too familiar with DEATH and FILTH. My god, Robert thought, please don’t let her turn out like me.
❝ I’m advising. ❞ He underlined raspingly before taking another drag of his cigarette. He glanced around the bar, taking a deep breath, trying to shake off any hints of frustration or fear that might have been present in his voice. Robert hadn’t been there for Val. To him, she had become a grown woman overnight, in between drunken naps, silently and away from his gaze. He hadn’t been a good father. But he was a father nonetheless. And he was only certain of this due to the bone-rattling WORRY he had for that young woman’s well-being. ❝ Do not accept Christiansen’s invitation, Val. ❞ Robert took a long drag from his cigarette and breathed out smoke. ❝ And whatever you do do not go into that fucking yacht. ❞
